Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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