Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
