I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
