how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
