My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
try to milk me bitch
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