Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
