Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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