HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Randomize
