If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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