I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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