I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
