since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
