at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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