You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
