Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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