I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
