how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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