So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
