those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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