ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize