I got chris browned last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
