my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
