I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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