i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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