I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
don't judge my taste in strippers
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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