This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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