does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
