Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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