had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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