The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
