I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
