thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
