Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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