First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
