Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
