At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
