I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
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Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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