thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He has the fingertips of a God
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
