I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize