I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
