I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
