I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i've created a new STD.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.