jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
