You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
