bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
