I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
