sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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