you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
