oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I understand Curling. That high.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
