You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
