Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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