Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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