i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
