Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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