Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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