You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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