Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
