I only kidnapped one of them. chill
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
