I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
