Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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