Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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