she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
