Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
