pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
