The maid of honor just puked.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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