haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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