i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
