I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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