I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
