Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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