He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
