idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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