I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
