He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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