You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
