At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
