"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
